


One Shot Grounds

by Pumpkinnubbin



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Drabbles, F/F, I'll add anything that is too short to post alone here, This is mostly Blackhill stuff, but I wanted to add my Danbeau ficlets here as well, hopefully I'll get more of those to add here, oneshots, prompts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-08-14 08:21:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20189206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pumpkinnubbin/pseuds/Pumpkinnubbin
Summary: This is a collection of prompts and other short fics that I wouldn't post on their own. Warnings and Ratings may change per chapter so keep an eye on the notes. (I will always post these on my tumblr first and then here at a later date).





	1. Maria doesn't like PDAs but she'll make one exception

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Maria being uncomfortable with PDA but letting Natasha fall asleep on the jet ride home even though they're surrounded by agents cause Natasha's hurt.
> 
> No warnings apply; this is just them being soft and sweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first prompt I've ever gotten for these two and I had a great time writing this. Thank you, anon, for leaving this in my ask box.

Maria Hill is worried sick. She hides it well, of course, because she’s a pro at this, but she’s just about ready to snap. She’s too involved to be a part of this mission but Fury is wise enough not to say it because not even he is stupid enough to keep Maria from getting her girlfriend back. Maria is also one of the best they have and having her on this mission can only help. She’s a professional, damnit, she can focus on work without letting her worry get the best of her. But it’s not every day that Natasha Romanoff needs an emergency extraction. That’s the worrying part.

Maria gets the strike team she needs and then they’re in the Quinjet, flying to Natasha’s extraction point over an hour away. It’s too long. Maria keeps running the worst kinds of scenarios through her head and she almost physically slaps herself to make it stop. Natasha is fine. Natasha is always fine. Maria can’t allow herself to be distracted.

They reach the spot in record time (not the least because Maria takes over flying to give herself something to do) and land. The team goes out exactly as planned, scanning the surrounding area for any hostiles, as well as Natasha. She’s nowhere to be seen. Maria’s heartbeat is all she can hear for the next minute. Then she spots a flash of red hair and she bites down on the relief that washes over her. They’re not out of the woods yet. The strike team covers her while she goes in to get Natasha. She can walk but she’s injured and looks pretty rough. A few scrapes and bruises mar her skin and she sports a split lip as well as some soot and ash all over her. Maria can practically smell the fire on her.

“‘m fine,” she says when Maria gives her a quick look over.

She is, too. Mostly. She’s really exhausted and a little fed up at the turn of events but seeing Maria makes everything so much better. They head back to the Quinjet as fast as Natasha’s legs will carry her while the strike team makes sure there’s nobody following or shooting at them. They’re clear and once everyone is back on board, they take off to fly back to base.

Natasha has a quick check up by the medic. She’s in her seat, her head resting back and her eyes closed. When Maria sits down next to her, she doesn’t hesitate to drop her head against her shoulder. Maria isn’t comfortable with public displays of affection. It’s a fact Natasha knows very well. It’s partly due to their respective positions and reputations, and partly because she just doesn’t see the need to display things like that around others. It’s completely different when it’s just the two of them but they don’t so much as hold hands in public. She feels Maria stiffen momentarily but then Maria moves her arm around her and holds her close and they both relax. All Natasha wants right now is the comfort of her arms and that’s a thing she never has to ask for. Maria always just knows. This time is no exception. Except it is because there’s a full team of agents around them. Maria drops her own cheek down on Natasha’s head and places a quick kiss to the top of it.

Half the men on board don’t look their way, giving them privacy and a moment to themselves. These are, after all, Deputy Director Hill and the Black Widow. And it isn’t that they’re afraid to look, to intrude, to judge. No, if anyone deserves a moment of peace, it’s these two. Even the few men who do look and take in the sight of Natasha all but curled up against Maria say nothing. They’re all here, sharing the space, but there is a clear distinction to where they are and where the two women sit.

Natasha falls asleep against Maria and she holds her a little more protectively, a little closer. She hates it when Natasha gets hurt. She knows it’s unavoidable, it’s just part of their job. Natasha is the best they have but she’s not invincible. Days like today are a reminder of the fact, and Maria just wants to protect her and shield her from danger. It’s stupid and she knows it but she loves her and can’t help it.

She appreciates everyone’s discretion. It’s weird, to be like this in front of anyone, but Natasha needs the rest and Maria can give her that much at least. Holding her close feels reassuring and for once it doesn’t matter that there’s a full strike team around them. She can get over her own discomfort if it means Natasha can be peaceful for a few minutes.

Nobody says anything when they land and the team clears out before Maria can even wake Natasha. There is a kind of respect in the action that goes past their ranks and reputations. Maria appreciates that too. She wakes Natasha by moving her arm up and down her back. The slow circles always ease her out of sleep. Maria smiles at her when she blinks up at her, sleep still clouding her vision. Natasha smiles back but she’s a little sheepish at having fallen asleep against her like that. Maria, ever the understanding girlfriend, kisses her forehead and let’s her know it’s fine.

They finally leave the Quinjet so Natasha can get properly checked by medical and then go get cleaned up. Maria doesn’t follow even though she really wants to. She instead updates Fury and then waits in Natasha’s quarters. It doesn’t take long for the redhead to be there. They don’t speak much but Maria helps her out of the suit and then into the shower to get her clean and free of ash.

Afterwards, they lie in bed together and Natasha takes the chance to cuddle into her side and fall asleep. Maria is much more comfortable with this.


	2. One pun to rule them all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I repeat: I cannot be trusted with my own dumbassery. But I still love this. This is my favorite stupid thing I've ever written. Puns, you guys.
> 
> No warnings apply, except for my own stupidity.

“You’re late. You’re never late,” Clint says, eyeing Natasha critically as she finally enters the common kitchen in the Avengers Mansion.

It’s 8.26am and she’s therefor twenty-six minutes late. Natasha always gets to the kitchen at 8am sharp, without exception. But not today. Today, she is late, and that raises Clint’s suspicion. He hops off the counter (the child) and walks over to her. He’s trying to read her, trying to figure out what’s caused her to be late. Natasha just raises an eyebrow, amused but unimpressed.

The rest of the team look up at her too, some awake, some still waiting for the coffee to do the trick. Tony looks the most like he’s interested but he’s also the one who needs the most coffee to wake up. Maria’s there too; she’s gotten in ten minutes before Natasha and has had plenty of time to eat breakfast already.

“Where ya been, Red?” Tony asks, frowning at his coffee, “Explains why the coffee is so awful.”

“Hey!” Steve complains.

Natasha usually makes the coffee for everyone but since she only just joined them, Steve did it for her. It’s not the same and it’s obvious. Natasha grins.

“Just been downhill,” she says easily.

Maria almost chokes on her coffee. Steve and Bruce throw a concerned glance her way when she sputters and coughs quietly. She waves their concern off and hides her glare at Natasha like a pro.

Natasha just smirks at her, barely. She’s well aware that it hasn’t been her best one but part of her still thinks it’s hilarious and she’s proud of it.

“Downhill?” Clint asks, clearly skeptical.

Natasha shrugs and pours herself a cup of coffee. She joins the team and sits down next to Maria who is doing an excellent job at appearing nonplussed.

“Cardio.”

She really is awful, Maria thinks. She loves that about her, sure, but this is embarrassing and it’s only going to get worse if any one of the guys catch on to what she’s really saying. She thinks it has to be either Clint or Tony. The former likes jokes and bad puns and the latter’s mind somehow always ends up in that territory anyway.

Miraculously, nobody seems to get it. Maria relaxes a little and Natasha smiles at her when their eyes meet. They still haven’t told anyone about their relationship. Natasha enjoys dropping badly veiled hints every so often but this time she’s really outdone herself. It’s not even subtle.

“We could go together some time,” Steve offers.

He’s oblivious to Maria’s expression of half shocked, half ready to laugh. Natasha has a hard time keeping her own laughter in. It’s a perfectly innocent offer except nothing about her morning cardio has been innocent.

“I don’t think so.”

“Oh… Alright.”

“Sorry, Steve. I already have a partner, I don’t need another.”

This time she isn’t trying at all and she’s sure no one will interpret it the way she really means it. She feels Maria’s fingers against her leg and nudges her foot with her own in return.

Steve nods and leaves it at that, smiling. Clint is still eyeing her but he doesn’t pick up on anything. Maria and her have gotten really good at keeping it casual in front of the boys. They’ve gotten even better at finding ways around them, when they’re still right there.

They finish breakfast and everyone but Maria and Natasha leave. They were the last ones in so nobody really asks any questions.

Maria snorts the second they’re alone and pushes at Natasha’s shoulder.

“Downhill?”

Natasha just smirks and shrugs, the picture of innocence that is ruined by her entire expression.

“I did do that though. For cardio.”

“You’re the worst.”

“I’m hilarious,” Natasha argues.

Maria rolls her eyes and gets up and Natasha follows her with an excited grin. She’s terribly cute this way; when they just got away with something and she’s like a kid in a candy store. Maria loves these moments.

“And you love me anyway.”

Maria’s lips tug up into a fond smile and she checks they’re alone before kissing her softly.

“I do. Wait until I’m not drinking coffee next time you drop an awful pun like that.”

Natasha just keeps grinning. She’s sure she can reuse this one. She plans to, until one of them finally gets it.

“You’re no fun.”

“I was plenty fun this morning,” Maria says back.

Natasha laughs and pecks her cheek before she leaves the kitchen too. She has work to do and Maria’s already kept her busy all morning. Maybe she can think of more bad puns throughout the day. After all, it’s not every day she manages to get Maria flustered.


	3. Family Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria takes Natasha on a mini vacation to meet her family: Maria Rambeau, Carol Danvers and Monica

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was also a prompt! Big thank you to wonderatmywoman for giving me this one: "Maria taking Nat home to meet her lesbian moms: Carol Danvers and Maria Rambeau. How she knows them is up to you but I seriously need some Hill & Rambeau family interaction."
> 
> I had a lot of fun writing this but this is also my first attempt at writing any of the Captain Marvel characters.
> 
> No warnings apply, just some cute family interactions.

When Maria told Natasha that they’re going on a mini vacation for the weekend, this isn’t what Natasha’s expected. They’re in the middle of nowhere when Maria parks the car in a driveway and Natasha can practically see the excitement rolling off her. She takes in the house they’re parked in front of. It looks like any other in the area, with a lot of free space around it. It looks clearly inhabited though so she rules out the idea of Maria having rented it for the weekend.

“Where are we?”

“Home,” Maria smiles and it does nothing to diminish Natasha’s confusion.

They get out of the car and Maria barely even has time to ring the doorbell before the door swings open. A woman around Maria’s age opens the door and squeals, pulling Maria into a tight hug. Natasha has never been so confused in her life but the sight makes her smile.

“Maria! Mom, Maria is here!”

“Monica, my ear,” Maria laughs.

Monica apologizes and grins at her, then finally looks at Natasha. She nudges Maria with an even bigger grin and then steps around her.

“Hi, I’m Monica. You must be Natasha.”

“I am, nice to meet you.”

They shake hands and then another woman arrives in the doorway. She’s older than them and Natasha can see the family resemblance to Monica easily. That must be her mother then. She wonders how Maria knows them; who they are.

“Come here, girl.”

Maria laughs and hugs the older woman.

“Are you going to introduce me to your girl or what?”

Maria pulls away and takes a step back to take Natasha’s hand and tug her closer.

“This is Natasha. Natasha, that’s Maria and Monica.”

“That’s going to get confusing.”

Monica laughs and both Maria’s shrug. They’re used to it. Natasha shakes that Maria’s hand too. She invites them inside and Maria and Natasha take their bags from the car to bring them inside.

“Carol will be here soon.”

Maria nods and leads the way upstairs to a spare room where they drop their bags.

“Who’s Carol?”

Maria just grins at her and it’s not the kind Natasha sees often. Maria has a surprise in store and it remains to be seen if it’s a good one for her.

“Am I going to get any answers out of you today?”

“Later. Come on, let’s go back downstairs.”

Natasha sighs and follows Maria back down. They all seem very close and friendly and Natasha feels just a little bit out of place. As soon as they’re downstairs, Monica pulls her aside so the two Maria’s can catch up.

“I’ve been dying to meet you, I hope you don’t mind. Maria talks about you all the time.”

“I’m afraid this is the first time I hear about any of you.”

Monica laughs. She’s expected that.

“Then it’s time we get to know each other,” she smiles.

There’s no real time for it though because the door opens again and Monica jumps up to greet the newcomer. Both Maria’s get up too. A blonde steps into the living room and it takes Natasha a split second to recognize the woman. Carol Danvers. Captain Marvel. Natasha turns to stare at Maria because now she has even more questions.

“Hey, girls,” Carol greets.

She beams at Rambeau and then Maria and wraps the latter into a big hug. Maria is taller than her so it looks a little funny from where Natasha is standing. She watches until Maria pulls out of the hug and turns back towards Natasha.

“This is Natasha. Nat, this is-“

“Carol Danvers. Yeah, I know. Hi,” Natasha says.

Carol scrutinizes her and then grins a little before nodding and shaking her hand.

“Hi. Maria talks about you a lot so it’s nice to meet you.”

“So I’ve been told,” Natasha says with a glance at Monica.

Maria smiles at all of them together and then steps next to Natasha. She takes her hand and smiles at her, looking a little nervous. Natasha waits.

“So… this is my family,” Maria says, “Better than my other one. They’ve been with me since I joined the army. I thought it was about time I introduced you guys.”

“No kidding,” Natasha mumbles.

That explains the familarity between all of them but it still blows her mind. Then it dawns on her that Maria has just brought her to meet her _family_ and it makes her brain short-circuit. She knows that’s a big deal. She’s reminded it is when Maria looks at her like that; like she’s still nervous and just a little bit afraid one of them might disapprove of them. She blinks and then chuckles softly, cupping Maria’s cheeks.

“You could have given me a warning, Masha.”

“And rob myself of seeing you stunned for once in your life? No way.”

That makes Rambeau laugh out loud and she walks over to them to put her hands on their shoulders.

“Welcome, kid. Now, which one of you is going to help me make dinner?”

“Not her,” Maria decides and Natasha huffs but voices no argument.

Natasha is a complete disaster in the kitchen and Maria forbids her from helping out, ever. The two Maria’s head to the kitchen, Monica in tow, and Natasha is left alone with Carol. She’s not often intimidated by anyone but she feels a sudden nervousness around Carol.

“I won’t lie, I’ve been waiting for this,” Carol admits.

“How screwed am I?” Natasha laughs.

She did just dump a bunch of information on herself all over the internet. Most of it isn’t good things. Carol nods towards the couch and they both sit down.

“That depends.”

Natasha shakes her head and glances towards the kitchen, then back at Carol. She knows what’s going to follow. She’s too old to get the talk.

“Look, if you’re trying to give me the talk, there’s no need. I give myself the talk at least twice a week. I know Maria is way too good for me but I love her and I’d do anything to keep her safe and happy.”

Carol watches her with narrowed eyes and then her whole expression softens up and she smiles at her.

“That’s all I needed to hear. She loves you. I’m not here to tell you you’re not good enough for her. If you make her happy, you’re plenty good enough.”

Natasha nods her thanks. That’s more than she’s expected and she can’t deny it’s a sudden weight off her shoulders to have Captain Marvel’s approval.

Dinner is served almost an hour later and Carol and Natasha spend most of that time talking, until Monica joins the conversation to get to know Natasha better. Eating together is nice. Natasha keeps most of her questions to herself only because she’d rather ask Maria them in private.

They retire to the guest room late in the evening and Natasha drops down on the bed.

“Were you ever going to tell me that you’re like family to Captain Marvel?”

Maria looks at her sheepishly and joins her on the bed. She pushes some stray strands of hair out of Natasha’s face and smiles down at her.

“I didn’t know how to bring it up. I’ve wanted you to meet them for a while now.”

“They’re great,” Natasha says, pouting a little.

“Are you upset with me?”

Natasha sits up and sighs before shaking her head no. She isn’t. A warning would have been nice though.

“Of course not. I know this is important to you. But you do realize that now I have even more questions than before?”

Maria smiles. She’s relieved. Today has gone over really well.

“When I enlisted, I ran into Maria. We got along pretty well and when she found out about my circumstances, she decided to look out for me. Carol was the one who suggested I come here whenever I had a day to travel and I ended up doing just that. I spent all my free time here. It was a home for me, and it still is.”

Natasha smiles and kisses her softly. It means a lot to her that Maria is willing to share this with her and that she’s wanted her to meet her family.

“I love you.”

“Did Carol give you the talk?” Maria asks with a sheepish smile. Carol is always the first to want to give her girlfriends the talk.

“She tried to. I beat her to it.”

Maria raises an eyebrow and her lips tug into a tiny smile.

“Nobody gives me the talk about you better than me.”

She kisses Maria again and Maria smiles into it. Natasha is sweet. She never gives herself enough credit. It’s part of why she’s brought her here. Maria and Carol are amazing at making people feel loved and worthy. Natasha won’t be an exception to that.


	4. Avenger Scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this gorgeous drawing](https://iminchains.tumblr.com/post/134540201661/%E0%B2%A0-%E0%B2%A0) by iminchains over on tumblr

This is all a big mess. She got Clint back and he’ll be okay, but the icyness in his eyes and Loki’s words haunt her still. She thinks of other blue eyes and feels a tug in her chest. She needs to go see Maria before she can’t anymore. Steve enters just then and asks them to join him. Clint agreed readily and so does Natasha, but there is one thing she needs to do first.

“Meet at the hangar in ten.”

Steve frowns and he’s about to argue that there’s no time but Natasha’s already pushed past him and Clint shakes his head. Natasha isn’t a soldier; Loki’s messed with her a lot.

Natasha finds Maria in the command center as expected, a little banged up but otherwise fine.

“Maria.”

Maria turns around and sighs in relief at seeing her face. Natasha is still shell-shocked from her encounter with the Hulk and her hands are a little shaky when she takes Maria’s. They go down a hallway to have a little more privacy and all Natasha wants to do is stay with Maria. She knows she can’t. She needs to help down on the streets of New York City.

Maria leans back against the wall and moves her hands to Natasha’s waist. Natasha wraps an arm around her neck and moves the other to her jawline, letting her thumb trace over the skin of her cheek.

“You’re going?” Maria asks.

“Yes.”

Maria looks like she wants to argue but she closes her eyes for a moment and then opens them again to look at her. Her gaze is soft and Natasha hurts all the more for it. There is no guarantee she’ll survive an alien invasion.

“You have to come back to me, Natasha. Promise me you’ll come back to me.”

“I’m always coming back to you,” Natasha says softly, “I promise.”

Maria nods and drops her forehead down against Natasha’s. They’re out of time but at least they have this moment.

“You have to stay safe too.”

“I will,” Maria promises.

Natasha shifts to rest her head against Maria’s shoulder.

“Natasha…”

“I know.”

She squeezes her eyes shut, takes in all that is Maria, and counts to three before tearing herself away to meet Steve and Clint on the hangar.

Maria watches her go, her chest painfully tight. She’ll stay safe and Natasha will come back to her. She always does. She has to.

“I love you,” she whispers into the darkness before going back to the command center.

They have a world to save.


	5. Commander Hill, Pay Attention to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lovely anon over on tumblr left me with this ask: Okay. Natasha absolutely calls Maria “Commander” in a teasing, sexy way but also she’ll put her head on Maria’s desk while she’s doing paperwork like a cat desperate for affection. “Commander. Commander Hill. Commander Maria Hill. Commander - ” “wHAT ROMANOFF.” “I love you. Please pay attention to me.”
> 
> This is just absolutely adorable, no further warnings apply

Maria is a professional at work. She likes to remind herself and everyone else every so often because sometimes it’s difficult to keep a straight face around Natasha. The redhead likes to tease her and Maria is good at keeping her face impassive but she’s not dead and Natasha’s words definitely get to her. She should have never corrected her on her title because now Natasha won’t stop calling her Commander in ways that make her want to pull her aside and have her way with her. She doesn’t because, damnit, she’s a professional. 

Natasha has been teasing her all day, purring _Commander_ into her ear or inflecting it just so to make it sound borderline sarcastic. Maria is entirely focused on work though because it’s a long day of dealing with the WSC and paperwork and she can’t allow herself to be distracted. Sometimes that’s all it takes to keep her focused. 

She’s back in her office with a pile of papers and reports to file and go through when Natasha drags herself in and slumps down in the seat opposite Maria’s. Maria looks up briefly and smiles a little but otherwise doesn’t pay her any attention. She really needs to work on these reports. Natasha waits another five minutes in perfect silence before she cracks. 

“Maria.”

Maria hums quietly but doesn’t look up and she misses the roll of Natasha’s eyes. 

“Maria Hill.”

Nothing. 

“Commander.”

Still nothing.

“Commander Maria Hiiiiill,” Natasha sighs, dropping her head right onto the paperwork. 

She continues whining for another half minute and a good dozen more “Commander Hill”’s before Maria finally gives up. 

“What, Romanoff?”

“I love you. Pay attention to me. Love me. Please?”

Maria sighs and rubs her eyes but she can’t quite contain the smile at the sight of Natasha’s upper half mostly sprawled out over her desk just so she’ll pay attention to her. She chuckles and runs her fingers through the red hair. For a super spy and deadly assassin, Natasha could be really needy sometimes. 

“I do love you, honey, but I need to get this done or the WSC will never leave me alone again.”

Natasha huffs and ruffles a few papers before turning her head onto the other side to look at Maria. 

“I could go kill them so you’re free of paperwork.”

“I think that will add more paperwork,” Maria counters, amused. 

“So that’s a no?”

“That’s a no but I appreciate the thought,” Maria smiles. 

She looks at her for a little while and then shakes her head with another soft smile. Natasha can be really adorable sometimes. Maria pushes her chair back and lifts her arms. 

“Get off my desk and come here.”

Natasha beams at her and scrambles to her feet to round the desk and sits down in Maria’s lap, immediately hugging herself to the taller woman. She hides her face in her neck with a content huff and Maria wraps an arm around her. She can still do some of her work like this and if Natasha wants affection this desperately, there’s no helping it. She presses a kiss to the top of her head and feels Natasha smile against her skin. It’s a good thing nobody ever comes into her office uninvited. They both have reputations to uphold after all. 


	6. Fuck you, Romanoff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Nat is a little shit and Maria slips up for the opportunity of Clint's life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the anon who wrote this in! "Maria: Fuck you, Romanoff." Clint 'Number One Blackhill Stan' Barton: Fuck Her yourself, Commander."
> 
> No warnings apply, except maybe for a little language.

Maria is incredibly, terribly fed up. Natasha has been a pain in her ass all week and she’s pretty sure she’s doing it on purpose. She sasses her every chance she gets, floors her when they’re sparring, and the reports Maria’s made her work on are late or illegible. Maria is tired of the attitude. It’s like she just wants to rile Maria up and honestly, it’s working. She’s this close to fuming and it’s only Thursday morning. She doesn’t deserve this.

She drinks her coffee in one of the meeting rooms, waiting for Natasha and Clint to brief them on their next mission. She can only hope that this will give her a respite from whatever it is Natasha is doing. There are some pastries from the cafeteria for all of them. It’s breakfast time after all and far too early to function without both food and coffee. The two agents are already running late at this point. It’s not surprising regarding Clint but Natasha is usually on time. They finally get there ten minutes later. Maria is done with her coffee by now and she’s eaten one of the croissants in the box she’s had brought over by some rookie.

She reaches out to grab another when Natasha snatches it just before she can. It’s a deliberate move to get exactly the one Maria’s wanted and Maria glares at her. Natasha is out to annoy her. Clint drops into his seat while Natasha smirks and sits down on the table.

“You can sit in a chair like everbody else, Romanoff. And you’re both late.”

“Sorry, boss,” Natasha grins, “I was getting Clint out of bed.”

“Not a morning person,” Clint nods.

Maria rolls her eyes and sighs but she drops it for now. She has a briefing to get through and the faster that’s done the better. It takes half an hour to go over everything and Maria is almost convinced that Natasha hasn’t paid any attention to a single word she’s said. She’s been on her phone the whole time. This isn’t a terribly difficult mission and Clint’s certainly paid attention but it still irritates her that Natasha is like this. She does it on purpose and the smirk on Natasha’s face confirms as much.

“Did you even hear anything I said?”

“Of course. It’s impossible not to when it distracts me so much from what I’d rather do.”

Maria clenches her jaw. She’s a professional. She can deal with one subordinate being a little shit. Natasha being the one only makes it worse though. She gets away with a lot of things because she’s their best agent.

Maria is about to drop it when Natasha steals the last croissant from under her nose and sits down with her feet on the table, and on her files.

“I mean, we could have been done with this fifteen minutes ago. It’s a standard mission. I read all of this yesterday. It’s not rocket science, Hill.”

Natasha’s tone is teasing and her expression is far too smug for Maria’s liking. Honestly, she’s just done with this. It’s been three full days of nothing but sass. Maria’s next words aren’t her fault. She’s only human, and Natasha is apparently excellent at pushing her buttons, and the limit of her patience.

“Fuck you, Romanoff.”

Natasha doesn’t even have the time to say anything before Clint does. He’s been waiting for this for days.

“Fuck her yourself, Commander.”

He’s entirely nonchalant about it but the words still stun Maria and Natasha laughs when she blushes. There is no recovering from that and she glares at them both. That isn’t at all how she’s meant that and Clint knows it.

“Damnit, you two. Get out of here, you’re dismissed.”

Natasha chuckles and takes her feet off the table. She gets up with a bite into her croissant and smirks at Maria on her way out. Clint is still lounging in his chair, turning his head to watch Natasha leave before he turns his attention back to Maria, who is still very much flustered.

“You know she’s a pain in your ass because she likes you, yeah?”

“Just go already.”

Clint shrugs and follows Natasha out so they can get ready for their mission. Maria drops back into her own seat and sighs into her hands, letting Clint’s words fully sink in. Natasha Romanoff likes her, and Maria is having a hard time admitting that she most definitely likes her too. Oh God.


	7. Steve Rogers, Squirtle Squad leader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve Rogers is a member of the Squirtle Squad and good luck convincing Clint otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm adding this here even though the Blackhill is only implied in this one. I didn't want to not add it to the collection. This is just a silly ficlet gotten from an anon saying "Hot take: Steve Rogers, Captain America is just a member of the Squirtle Squad and everyone’s too afraid to admit it. His shield? A shell. He was put on this earth to kick Nazi ass and so were the Squirtle Squad. Give this man some sunglasses and he’s good to GO"
> 
> If you want to read something silly, this is for you. If you're not into Pokémon, this might not be for you :) Future Pokémon related stories will be posted separately but this one isn't gonna fit in with it, I feel, so I'm posting it here instead. No hard feelings if this isn't for you guys

Natasha and Clint have been cackling between one another for days now. Everytime Steve enters the room, Clint loses it. Tony wants in on what’s going on but Clint repeatedly tells him he won’t get it. Steve looks like a lost puppy whenever it happens and he looks to Maria for help but she just shrugs. She doesn’t know either and, at this point, she isn’t sure she wants to know. She has long ago learned that some things are better left unknown, especially where Clint and Natasha’s inside jokes are concerned.

It starts a couple of days later. Natasha is sitting on the couch in the common room, Clint on the back of it waiting for Steve. He enters a few minutes later with Maria, chatting about some book he’s been reading. Natasha hides her smile when Clint hops off the couch and hands Steve a small package. He takes it with a surprised look on his face and thanks Clint with a smile.

“I wouldn’t say that too soon,” Maria tells him. She’s suspicious and with good reason.

Steve opens it and finds a pair of sunglasses inside. They’re cat eye shaped and he frowns at them. He puts them on anyway because they’re a gift. Clint bites his lip to keep from laughing but he turns to Natasha with a big grin. They both grab the sunglasses that are next to her on the couch and put them on. These ones are round instead. They salute Steve and Maria rolls her eyes. The sight is ridiculous.

“Captain Squirtle, sir.”

Clint loses it again and Steve once again turns to Maria for help.

“Don’t look at me.”

He takes the glasses off again and so do Natasha and Clint. Natasha shuffles over so they can all sit on the couch together. Steve and Maria join her and Clint sits down on the armrest next to Natasha.

The incident is mostly forgotten a week later when Clint comes running to Natasha with the biggest smile on his face. Natasha knows this means he’s found what they’ve been looking for and the second part of their plan is ready for action.

It takes another two days before the package arrives. Steve is in the gym training when Clint gets him. Natasha has given herself access to Steve’s room and laid out the plushies Clint’s ordered on his bed. There’s five of them, four with the same round glasses she and Clint have worn the previous week, and one with the same cat eye shaped glasses they’ve given Steve. Clint and Steve get there a few minutes later and Natasha waits for them by the door. He stops in the doorway when he spots the plushies and Clint immediately starts laughing again. The sound attracts Maria, who is just passing by, and she lets out a deep sigh when she sees what’s going on. She gets it now. Clint has made Natasha watch enough Pokémon that Natasha has ended up dragging Maria into it too.

“Someone please explain to me what is going on,” Steve asks.

“They’re the Squirtle Squad. And you’re one of them. You’re a squirtle,” Clint laughs.

“I’m a what now?”

“A squirtle,” Natasha says, grinning.

“They’re Pokémon,” Maria provides for some actual explanation, “I’m sure these two will be more than happy to sit you down and make you watch the show.”

Steve still looks completely lost but it’s the best Maria can do right now and she shakes her head before leaving again. Natasha and Clint are like children sometimes. She can still hear them laughing while attempting to explain why exactly Steve is the leader of the Squirtle Squad. At least it’s never boring around here.


	8. Carol Danvers, Rescuer of Kittens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is 100% Danbeau! I decided to add this as well and add their tag so I don't have to start a new collection and I feel like this is too short to warrant its own fic upload. That being said, feel free to drop me some Danbeau stuff in my ask to add here, I'd be happy to try writing more of these two.

Carol loves being out and about on Earth. She loves being home with Maria and Monica, of course, but she also needs to explore more, see more than just her little bit of home in New Orleans. She takes day trips to other cities, usually. Sometimes she stays a couple of days if she really likes a place. Either way, flying back home never takes long so even if something comes up, she’ll be back with them in a flash.

One thing she’s never anticipated though is how many stray cats seem to be everywhere. After Goose she’s developed a bit of a soft spot for them and she hates seeing them roaming the alleys for food and attention. Carol makes it a point to pick them up and take them home if the cats let her. So far she’s brought home five kittens from four different cities and at this point Maria expects it.

“Carol Susan Jane Danvers, that better not be another alien,” Maria sighs, every time, without fail.

She’s not opposed to sheltering some kittens but Goose certainly made her vary of cats. She doesn’t want to get eaten. Maria rolls her eyes when Carol takes one of the cat’s paws and holds it up in her hand with a cute smile.

“Nya.”

This one is completely Monica’s fault and Maria just looks at Carol blankly before she rolls her eyes again, for good measure. This is the sixth time she does this, it almost feels like a tradition at this point.

“I suppose I’ll have to go buy more cat food again.”

She really wants to contact a proper shelter to take care of all these cats but having them makes Monica happy and she loves to take care of them and look after them. She probably will have to eventually, if Carol keeps bringing more. They only have so much space and so many hands.

“I love you,” Carol beams.

Maria shakes her head and takes the cat out of Carol’s arms before she kisses her cheek. Carol is an idiot, but she’s her idiot and, honestly, it’s just another thing she loves about her.


	9. Domestic Floof: The Baking Attempt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha tried to do something nice for Maria after a long week but it turns out her baking skills are on par with her cooking…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally written for my best friend but also everyone should enjoy some domestic fluff

Natasha is good at a great many things. She’s an excellent spy, for one, and a fantastic shot for another. She knows multiple languages and martials arts, and she has enough knowledge in virtually any topic to make small talk. She’s a graceful dancer and a talented singer, though those aren’t skills she uses very often these days. She’s smart and thinks on her feet and she’s fast enough to keep up with Steve for a little while when they run together.

The one thing Natasha isn’t good at, however, is cooking. She’s tried, many times, and even following recipes doesn’t seem to help. She watches other people do it and nothing about it looks complicated so she doesn’t understand why it’s so difficult for her. She’s even asked Laura for help but nothing works. She just cannot cook. She somehow manages to burn water even when she keeps a close eye on it. Her pasta is always too salty, her pre-made oven pizza always ends up burned, and any veggies she tries to prepare turn up black or otherwise overdone. Natasha knows when something is beyond her skillset but it still irks her that she’s incapable of something so simple.

Maria has forbidden her to enter the kitchen when she’s making food because somehow just having Natasha there is already a bad omen. She does let her help with chopping veggies and preparing. Natasha can do that without any issues. It’s the actual cooking that doesn’t work for her and Maria has learned that early on in their relationship. She doesn’t mind being in charge of dinner for the both of them. Maria likes cooking; it relaxes her after a long day at work. Natasha sets the table each evening and kisses her cheek to thank her for making the food. Maria is an excellent cook after all.

It’s been a really long week for both Natasha and Maria. It’s Saturday and Maria is stuck at work, dealing with yet another crisis. Natasha is lounging on the couch, trying to think of something to cheer her up with when she gets home. She likes doing that. Natasha still isn’t very good at these things but she always tries and Maria always tells her when something works and when it doesn’t. Natasha appreciates that because she loves Maria and wants to do things right.

She gets up when she has an idea and checks the pantry and the entirety of the kitchen but doesn’t find what she’s looking for. She grabs her keys and heads out to go to the supermarket down the street. It doesn’t take her long to find the aisle she needs but Natasha isn’t prepared for the choice she’s presented with. There are dozens of different packages for making cookies, not to mention even more for brownies and muffins. She’s a little lost because Maria’s never baked anything and Natasha doesn’t know what her favorite is. She stands in front of the boxes uselessly but eventually grabs the chocolate chip cookie box. She can’t go wrong with that.

Once back home, she sets the box down on the kitchen counter to read over the instructions. How difficult can it possibly be? She’s seen Clint’s kids bake cookies like these. If they can do it, so can Natasha. She’s never tried baking before so, honestly, she has no idea how this is supposed to go. It can’t be worse than her attempts at cooking though.

She opens the box and gets all the contents out, laying them out on the counter. There’s some pre-made dough and that’s it. It’s not exactly what she’s been expecting but the easier she starts, the better. Probably. Fewer steps give her less possibilities of messing something up. Then again, she burns water. Natasha forces herself to focus and checks the instructions again. It all sounds really easy. She pre-heats the oven and then gets the dough out of the package. She grabs a bottle because they never bake and so they don’t have a rolling pin in their kitchen, and starts rolling out the dough. It’s very sticky though and Natasha realizes she’s missing something. She’s pretty sure it isn’t supposed to stick so much. A quick google search lets her know she’s missing flour and she finds some in a kitchen cabinet. She covers the counter with it and then the bottle, as well as the dough, just in case, and then she tries again. It’s much better this time and she smiles. This is good. Her hands are still full of flour though and she spreads it on her cheeks when she pushes her hair back out of her face. She rolls the dough out until she’s happy with it but it’s a little uneven. It’s very thin on the outside and quite a bit thicker in the middle but she figures that more cookie is good so she doesn’t try to fix it. She checks all the cabinets for some forms to use to cut out the cookies but they don’t even bake Christmas cookies so there’s nothing. She grabs a knife instead and carefully cuts out some circles. They’re not perfect but they will do. Natasha grabs a tray and some baking paper and puts all of her cookies on it. She double checks the instructions to get the temperature and baking time right and adjusts the temperature on the oven before putting the tray in.

She doesn’t stay in the kitchen but she does set a timer because she’s worried she’ll forget and burn them. She throws the package and then goes back to the couch to watch some TV.

When Maria comes home half an hour later, Natasha is sulking in the kitchen. It smells like cookies and Maria follows the scent to find Natasha sitting on the counter, picking at her cookies. Half of them are overdone and the other half is under baked. Natasha pouts at them.

“Hey,” Maria says, taking in the scene.

“Hey…”

“What’s going on?”

“I wanted to make you cookies because it’s been such a long week full of bullshit…” Natasha starts, looking up at her with a pout, “I can’t bake either.”

Maria smiles at her fondly and steps closer to wipe away the flour still on her face. Natasha is quite the sight. Maria very much appreciates the thought and attempt, even if it ended up with mostly inedible cookies. She kisses her nose and smiles at her, cupping both her cheeks.

“It’s sweet that you tried. Maybe next time we can try it together, yeah?”

Natasha looks at the mess she’s made while baking and sighs. She’s honestly not sure there’s any hope for her. This went the same way her cooking attempts go. She looks back at Maria and the fond smile still on her face makes Natasha smile contently too. She doesn’t mind trying again if Maria is there with her.

“Okay.”

Maria kisses her softly and then tries one of the over baked cookies. It’s a little hard and dry but it’s not so bad.

“I think we can get it right together next time.”

“You’re just being nice.”

Maria chuckles and tucks a stray strand of hair back behind Natasha’s ear. She doesn’t pout often but this is really important to her and she messed it up.

“I love you.”

Natasha smiles again and she says it back before hopping off the counter to clean up. Maria helps her, despite Natasha’s arguments, and they’re done in record time. Maria takes the chance to wrap her arms around Natasha’s middle and pull her into a hug. Natasha rests her head against her chest.

“Sorry I messed up the cookies.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Maria promises, “This is the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

She kisses the top of Natasha’s head and Natasha smiles against her. That alone was worth it then, even if she failed at actually baking. They can try it again together. Natasha thinks she can’t possibly get it wrong with Maria’s help because Maria makes everything in her life better.


	10. "Wrong Maria, but can you help me?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Natasha breaks something at the Barton's and runs to Maria for rescue, except it's Maria Rambeau who answers the call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For an anon prompt! "Natasha: Maria! I fucked something up! Maria Rambeau: Yeah? Natasha: Wrong Maria but can you help me? I punched and broke something important. Maria: Honestly, are you sure you’re not Carol?"
> 
> Implied established Blackhill and Danbeau. This is kinda in the same universe as the "Maria takes Natasha to meet her family: Maria Rambeau and Carol Danvers" ficlet :)

“Shit, shit, shit,” Natasha curses, each one in a different language.

She stares at the shattered ceramic by her feet and groans before letting out a long whine. This is bad. Very bad.

“Maria!” She shouts down the hall, “I fucked something up!”

They’re at Clint’s farm, the five of them; Carol and Maria Rambeau with Monica, and Natasha and Maria. It’s a family outing and a chance for their respective families to get to know each other. Natasha is glad for it. She likes Maria’s chosen family.

Except now she’s broken a vase and if Laura finds out about it she is _dead_.

“Maria!”

“Yeah?”

Natasha rounds the corner but it’s not her Maria who responds first; it’s Carol’s. She hesitates but Rambeau is as good a help as her Maria and she needs all the help she can get. It doesn’t matter who it is as long as Laura doesn’t find out.

“Wrong Maria but can you help me? I may have punched a thing and broken it.”

Rambeau gives her an unimpressed look and then sighs. How did she end up with two of them, honestly?

“Are you sure you’re not Carol? Or related? How are there two of you?”

“I- don’t know? But can you help?”

Maria shakes her head but then follows her back down the hall anyway. Natasha is as much a disaster as Carol is. At least she has practice.

“I broke a vase. Laura is gonna be mad.”

“Remind me to never let you hang out with Carol without either one of us,” she says and Natasha knows she means herself and Maria. That’s probably fair.

Rambeau helps her pick up the pieces and Natasha tries to come up with a cover story. She’s not about to throw Rambeau under the bus, partly because she is admittedly a little intimidated by her. Then again, Laura definitely gets under her skin more.

“Don’t even think about it,” Maria warns and Natasha stares at her before she starts chuckling.

“How do you do that? Maria does the same thing.”

“Where do you think she got it from? I’m not taking the fall for you. Just own up to it. Why did you punch it anyway?”

“I just kinda got stuck in my head…”

Rambeau sighs and puts her hand on Natasha’s shoulder. She takes her hands and pulls them up to check them. One of them is bloody from punching the vase. Now that they’re done cleaning up the shards, they can take care of that.

“Fine. I’ll talk to Laura, you go clean this up. And go talk to Maria afterwards, you look like you need it.”

Natasha nods and thanks her. She’s grateful. Maria’s family is amazing. Rambeau heads down the hall to find her wife and Clint, and gives Natasha time to clean herself up. Natasha plans to own up to her destruction of the vase but only after talking to her Maria because she could really use one of her hugs right now. She feels fine, honestly, but Maria always makes her feel better than fine so there’s no harm in it. Especially if she has to face Laura’s wrath afterwards.


	11. Watching a Storm Pass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha and Maria get caught in a storm and find somewhere warm to watch it pass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This came from a prompt list on tumblr and was requested by the lovely movieaddictdoctor <3 Bite sized!

Neither Maria nor Natasha are prepared for the sudden storm that catches them while they’re out on a walk. They’re still twenty minutes away from their apartment when the rain starts. It’s just a few droplets at first, then a downpour not two minutes later. Natasha laughs at the grumpy face Maria makes (which is only made better by her hair already sticking to her cheeks) and takes her hand before running for shelter. Maria doesn’t stumble at the tug and follows her, smiling to herself. Natasha looks genuinely excited about the weather and she loves seeing her so carefree. It helps that the rain makes her already wavy hair even curlier because Maria’s always had a weakspot for it.

They find a café that isn’t packed yet but they’re both already drenched and still giggling betweem themselves. Natasha pushes some wet strands of hair out of her face to see and Maria picks at the sleeves stuck to her arms. She hates being this wet but at least it’s warm where they are now and it’s honestly not so bad when Natasha beams at her over it.

They order some hot chocolate to warm up and Natasha grabs them seats by the window so they can watch the storm pass. Natasha’s always enjoyed doing it; be it a thunderstorm or a snowstorm or just a downpour. She loves watching the rain hit the streets, hear it pour against windows. She loves watching the trees sway with the wind and the way people run for somewhere dry. Natasha loves storms. Maria noticed it even before they started dating, when she would find Natasha glued to the windows on the Helicarrier to watch a storm pass below them.

Maria watches her rather than the rain outside, a fond smile on her face. Natasha has both hands wrapped around her mug, absently blowing into it to cool down the beverage enough to drink it. Maria does the same when she starts shivering a little from her drenched clothes. Natasha turns her head when she notices. She’s not bothered by the cold as much as Maria but she’s feeling it too and she can’t wait to get home and cozy up in a nice hoodie and a blanket, curling up into Maria for even more warmth.

They sit and drink together, watching people outside struggling to hold onto their umbrellas as the wind picks up. The downpour becomes more violent for a few minutes and it’s almost impossible to see all the way to the other side of the road. Natasha smiles. She’s too wet for her liking but she’s still enjoying this. Maria finishes her hot chocolate first. Natasha turns her head again to beam at her and Maria takes the chance to cup her cheeks with her still warm hands. Natasha closes her eyes and her smile turns softer just as the rain lets up a little. Maria places a kiss on her temple before letting go again so Natasha can finish her own drink. She leans into Maria with no regard to their wet clothes and rests her head against her shoulder for a minute. Maria likes storms because they make Natasha cuddlier than usual and she gets to enjoy more moments like these, even when they’re not in the comfort of their own home.


	12. Flashback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got this prompt about Natasha suffering from a flashback and Maria helping her through it. Thanks you to the anon who suggested it!

Natasha is in the shower when it happens. She doesn’t even realize it. The water is hot and leaves her skin red where it hits it but Natasha is miles away; somewhere much colder and harsher. Somewhere where her showers are stained red and the water is either too hot or too cold. They’d leave her under the spray for hours sometimes, until she’s so cold she can’t feel her fingers anymore or her skin is burned. She has the scars to show for it. She blinks slowly, lets the water hit her face without taking note of it. She mumbles to herself, lets her head drop against the tiles. When she does it again it’s harder. She sinks down against the wall, finally trying to get away from the water. Her mumbling gets louder, English switching to Russian, begging for the water to stop. She hears the steady pulse of it coming out of the shower head, feels the wetness of the shower and her skin, and then she screams. She screams but she can barely hear herself, doesn’t notice that she’s crying and digging her nails into her arms hard enough to draw blood.

The scream attracts Maria’s attention and she rushes to the bathroom to check up on Natasha. She knows this. It’s not the first time. Between the two of them, there isn’t a week without nightmares, not two months without a flashback. Maria approaches slowly. She knows better than to be quick about moving around; Natasha reacts violently to that when she’s in this state. She reaches the shower and turns off the water before crouching down in front of Natasha.

“Nat. Nat, you’re safe, you’re not there anymore. It’s okay, you’re okay.”

Natasha barely hears her. She recognizes the voice in the back of her mind; the voice that doesn’t fit in with this scenario, the one that makes her feel safe. She grabs her head and shakes it harshly and Maria continues talking to her.

“The water’s off now, see? It’s fine,” she says, ignoring the way her heart beats too loudly in her ears, “I’m going to touch you, okay? It’s just me, I’m not going to hurt you.”

Natasha sobs and tenses when Maria puts her hand on her arm. She just places it there and gives Natasha time to identify the touch. Touching her helps but it has to be step-by-step to ease her back into reality and away from her past. When Natasha starts relaxing a little, Maria shuffles closer to her and very gently removes her hands from her face. Natasha shakes and presses herself back into the wall again, kicking out at Maria with a cry. Maria bites back her own tears. It doesn’t get any easier seeing her suffer like that.

“Natasha, it’s me. I got you. You’re safe, honey.”

Her sobs don’t die down right away but Natasha does stop lashing out at her and allows Maria to cup her cheeks. She runs her thumbs over her skin gently and waits. It’s up to Natasha now to get herself out of her flashback. Maria’s done all she can.

It takes another five minutes before Natasha comes back to her. She blinks and her eyes clear and Maria lets out a breath. It’s a shorter one and she’s glad for it. She’s seen these last for a long time before and Maria has never felt as useless as she has then. Natasha nods at her once, indicating that she is really back and Maria drops her forehead against Natasha’s. Natasha lets her breathing even out and calms down with Maria so close to her. She’s an anchor to her and she’s grateful.

Maria moves again and pulls Natasha into her lap to hold her, not caring that her clothes are soaked at this point. Natasha relaxes into her arms and allows herself a few more tears. She’s exhausted and hurting from where she’s drawn blood earlier. She’s lucky to have Maria. She’s never let her down and even when Natasha lashes out, Maria never leaves her. She’s always here to help her through these and out of these and Natasha doesn’t know how she’s ever become so worthy of her.


End file.
